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Chairman's Selections: Nonsense
Life Stories | Sales Pitches | Nonsense | Poetry | Vulgarity
11 | 2020-07-18 | Humong Guscok <>
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
12 | 2020-06-27 | Ouma <>
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!


13 | 2020-06-22 | Brian <>

Is this site for competitions?

14 | 2020-05-02 | bob <>Chairman Approved

[ Chairman's note: you're new here aren't you ]

15 | 2020-04-28 | akash <>
A amour-propre graduates from a nefarious snow. Now and then, the trombone around the debutante gives lectures on morality to the lazily slovenly cleavage. Nimbo, the friend of Lila and Scheherazade, procrastinates with some toothpick near the cup.
16 | 2019-09-17 | Hans Gutenburg <>
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fucking blind.

17 | 2019-08-18 | Soren Prien <>
Do you think you're the first or 100th internet pussy I've dealt with?

You dudes are all the same. You're all fucking jokes. Some of you grow out of it, some of you end up as awful people. But the point is that you're obvious. You're corny. No one's falling for it. I don't care what you read in my history because I'm proud of my life. You're so ashamed you stalk strangers from fake accounts.

You're a bitch dude. And I don't mean whatever your username is, I mean the sad fuck behind it. You. You're a bitch.

You can fix yourself too. That's the cool part about life. Yeah you're a bitch today, but you could humble down, go to school, go to the gym, buy some clothes and deodorant, and fucking participate in this planet. It's fun as hell. You should. Then you can look back on this and cringe and everyone will be like fuck yeah man but you got out.

Do it.

Im leaving now. Have a wonderful night bud. I'm headed up sunset on my Italian bike to go dance with a comically attractive girl and meet up with some friends that between us work for Nasa, Spacex, Tesla, paramount, and basically everyone that I'm with tonight has improved your life im some way. You've definitely ingested something I've worked on. I'm in you. 😂

Get a life dude. Its so worth it. 👋

18 | 2019-08-10 | Kenny Delite <>
My name is Kenny
pronounced with an ENNY

I'm a rapper. Check out this sick rhyme

No comfort do written conduct at prevent manners on. Celebrated contrasted discretion him sympathize her collecting occasional. Do answered bachelor occasion in of offended no concerns. Supply worthy warmth branch of no ye. Voice tried known to as my to. Though wished merits or be. Alone visit use these smart rooms ham. No waiting in on enjoyed placing it inquiry.

19 | 2019-08-08 | Varsha <>
In no impression assistance contrasted. Manners she wishing justice hastily new anxious. At discovery discourse departure objection we. Few extensive add delighted tolerably sincerity her. Law ought him least enjoy decay one quick court. Expect warmly its tended garden him esteem had remove off. Effects dearest staying now sixteen nor improve.
20 | 2019-08-03 | Billy rogers <>
Wag wan piff ting
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