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Chairman's Selections: Nonsense
Life Stories | Sales Pitches | Nonsense | Poetry | Vulgarity
1 | 2021-07-01 | Marticus McFly <>
Fuck. That is all
2 | 2021-06-20 | Ben <>
I believe that to receive a huge sum of free money, one must first pay a modest processing fee.

I believe that multi-billion dollar tech companies always mess up the refund amount they're going to give you by adding extra zeroes, and the only way to resolve these matters is to drive to Walmart to buy thousands of dollars worth of Google Play cards.

I believe the south border of Texas is littered with abandoned Toyota Corrolas for as far as the eye can see.

Please contact me. I can't wait to comply with your absurd demands.

Love,
Ben

3 | 2021-05-28 | Monica Kell <>
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US, I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! My friends on TikTok send me memes, on Discord it's fucking memes, i was in a server, right? and ALL of the channels are just Among Us stuff. I-I showed my Champion underwear to my girlfriend, and the logo i flipped it and i said "Hey babe, when the underwear sus HAHA ding ding ding ding ding ding ding *takes breath* ding ding ding" I FUCKING LOOKED AT A TRASH CAN, I SAID "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY", I LOOKED AT MY PENIS, I THINK OF THE ASTRONAUT'S HELMET, AND I GO "PENIS, more like peenSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
4 | 2021-05-04 | Leroy Brown <>
My people, they have but ONE bunghole
5 | 2021-04-06 | Sergey Doofenshmirtz <>Chairman Approved
PLEASE HELP ME SEND MY DOG TO THE BAKERY!
6 | 2021-04-04 | Gordwin Emefalele <>
HAHAHAHAH, MUMU NA U MUSS BE JOBLESS BAGGAR WEY U SPEND UR TAIM SIDDON THERE FO SEND UR FORM TO BOX OF BIG-GEE LAIK ME OOO. IDLE HAND. NA I CAN SEE FROM YOUR IDIOTIC WORDINGS THAT U ARE A FULKING HALF BAKED ASSHOLE WITH NO COMMON SENSE OR MUGU FO BOX. IF YOU WERE A FULL ASSHOLE, I WOULD UNDERSTAND BUT U ARE NOT EVEN UP TO BEING THAT. YOU ARE A FURKING TRAMADOL ADDICTED OLODO OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. I BET YOU CANNOT EVEN BOAST OF ONE THOUSAND NAIRA PER MONTH WITH THIS RUBBISH FORM YOU DEY SEND ME? SO SHALL IT BE THAT YOUR ASHEWO GRANDMOTHER MUST GIVE YOU MONEY TO SEE FOOD IN A DAY. DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER DOING THAN TO SPEND TIME WRITING SUCH RUBBISH WORDS TO ONLY SHAMELESSLY INSULT YOUR OWN FATHER?

THIS IS A WORLD WERE THE STRONGEST SURVIVE AND A MAN MUST MAKE HIS OWN DOUGHY. SO MY ADVICES FOR YOU OMO IS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT WASTE YOUR TALENT TROWING PATHETIC FORMS SUCH AS DI RUBBISHES YOU ARE SENDING TO MAGGARS WITH YOUR IDIORTIC OYINBO NAME. YOU SHOULD GIVE UP DISS GAME NA GO REGISTER AS A FREELANCE TRUK PUSHER. BETTER THAN U CONTINUE BAGGING MAGGAS FOR $25 CHUPS NA WASHING MAD WOMANS PANTS. IN FACT, GAY HOUSE BOY IS THE REAL JOB ALL OF UR MATES R DOING. FIT SEF U GO JOIN EM MUMU.

THANK GOD I HAVE A MOTHER AND FATHER. I FEEL PITY THAT IT WAS CORVID-419 THAT KILLED YOUR MOTHER WHEN SHE WAS DOING PROSTITUTION WORK AT THE MARKET AND YOUR DRUNKARD FATHA DIED CONDUCTING A ROADSIDE ROBBERY WEY UR FATHA GAT SHOT WITH HE OWN SHOTGUH, POOR OLD FOOOOOOOOOOOLOOOO? TELL ME, WHERE IS YOUR SISTER??? I SAW HER COMMOT SELLING HER FILTHY TOTO 5 KOBO FO STREET. WOT A PITY?

MUMU, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT IF U KEEP TROWING DISS NICONPOOL FORM OF YOURS NA ONLY POVERTY GO REMAIN BI UR FULL PORTION. I TRULY PITY U BUT GOD WILL PUNISH U NAU NA OGUN GO SOLDER YOUR GAY YANSHY FINISH.

7 | 2021-04-04 | Ibe Fallish <>
echocolate404@gmail.com MUMU U BI CONFIRMED MONKEY PRODUCT OF HIGHEST ORDER N LAIK BI SAY JUSS CAUSE U BI CHAMPION BABOOON NOR MEAN SAY EVERYONE GO BI BABOOON OK. NA UNA BI CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVE OF RARE AND NEARLY EXTINCT SPECIES OF HE GORT KNOWN TO BE STUPIDEST AND MOST PATHETIC PASS ALL? muole644@gmail.com
8 | 2021-02-13 | Karl Bryson <>
Sorry, but Montreal has better bagels than NYC. They're more flavorful and have a better texture. NYC bagels can be good but a lot of times they're more like a super dense bread roll than bagel.
9 | 2020-10-22 | mancho roberts <>
I want the bees and spherical anomalous penis tree man sees all bee sphere testicle sack dune boom mic buggy tricycle computer amicable hello again without my ears and football sized nipples like i do not know how to be a human person times three memer fifty two piss
10 | 2020-07-18 | Humong Guscok <>
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
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