A long time ago, I invested in coinBit and became extremely rich. I bought a magnificent estate which I affectionately named Mic Ox: "Mic" comes from my name, while "Ox" is the surname of my wife's grandmother's best friend (my wife insisted on using it). For many years I lived on Mic Ox, until one day, a man known as Anderson James Michael stole a Leclerc tank from the French military and fired a seven-kilogram two-stage long-rod tunsten kinetic penetrator at Mic Ox, which completely obliterated it.
I decided to run away to the nearby country of The Union of Capitalist State Republics. As I escaped riding my camel, Anderson James Michael shot at me with the Leclerc's auto-loading 120mm model F1 GIAT CN120-26/52 smoothbore gun. I eventually reached the UCSR. I informed the police of Anderson James Michael's attack, but they kept replying "я не понимаю английский." How useless.
I am currently living in my great-great-great-great grandfather's great-great-great-great grandson's house, and would desperately like quick ways to earn money or business partnerships that can help me gain back the money I have lost. I'm also suing the camel for not running fast enough.

I'm John Levi marcus - a retired toilet roll holder. My pension currently cannot support my family of 4 - me, my wife, my son and my rotting dead badger. Life is an everyday challenge, especially because I have a Heathrow airport terminal 4 illness. I'm afraid that I may not have anything to pass on to my wonderful family when I eventually kick the bucket. I did find a Rolex on a dead man's hand the other day, but the pawn shop said I had to remove it from the body first. I also had the misfortune of spilling fruit juice over my stamp collection so I cannot sell them on. In doing so, I ruined my ultra rare stamp which depicted the pope riding a bear over a waterfall, with the wind rushing through his Donald trump style toupee. It was beautiful and worth lots of money and I'm gutted that it is now destroyed.
I would thoroughly appreciate any donations, job proposals and maybe some air freshener because my rotting badger is starting to smell funny.
Thanks,
Warm regards,
John

The toilet seat smashed through the roof of our greenhouse, passing over my head and shoulders and coming to rest just above waist level trapping my wifes head in the process.
The damage done may not have been so serious had she not been recently fitted with a dental brace to cure her overbite.
My wife may have choked had it not been for the quick thinking of our head gardener Albert Spanks, (no relation) who came to our rescue armed with a pair of garden shears, a leaf blower and a rather feral bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape with a background note like the armpits of a beautiful girl after three sets of tennis.
I would like to sue the Welsh Space Agency for compensation owing to the fact that I now walk like John Wayne after having undergone penis reconstruction surgery.
I know it was the Welsh Space Agency's fault as the toilet seat had 'Made in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch' written on it and a logo of a red dragon urinating onto the national flag of England ....
Looking forward to a large wodge of cash as compensation for not only myself but also for my good lady wife who has been seriously trumatised by this severely distressing event.
kind regards
Maximillian Forbes Bowmaker Huntingdon-Spanks
am horny
pls sex
or curry scammer i also like :slight_smile:
Please help.