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Chairman's Selections: Life Stories
Life Stories | Sales Pitches | Nonsense | Poetry | Vulgarity
11 | 2021-01-29 | Hugh G. Rection <>
Unbelievable! I posted here and within the hour I received an email for an excellent business opportunity! It's so nice to see that all I have to do is post in a random guestbook and thanks to the power of the internet, someone will reach out to me with a great offer. Satan has truly blessed me, even though I rejected his offer many times. FUCK YOU SATAN! YOU WILL WORSHIP ME!! ME, I tell you! ME!!! WAAAHAHAHAHA. Bitch.
12 | 2021-01-29 | Abaeze <>
A fence post in the rectum is worth two in the field. This was revealed unto me while in vision, taken up to the heavens by the paint fumes in my garage. Jesus is ALL but the flesh will be unto us for another day! Believe it to me now and I will show you the golden shower of our faith, for thus it has been foretold from days of our collective forgotten future through the deep void of infinite fornication... the ellipsis will show you the way. Trust in the warm vagina of the butchered unicorn, for all is well. My mother is cold in the ground and I am the happy master of my own filthy house.
13 | 2021-01-10 | Michael Cheng <>
after living in slough for 15 years, i was forced to seek asylum in the great nation of the delta airlines waiting room
14 | 2020-12-28 | Borat Sagdiyev <>
Hi my name-a Borat I like you. I like sex, It nice. I am from Kazakhstan, Kuzcek and I want to buy a car with pussy magnet. I have a friend, this-a Urkin, the town rapist. Naughty, naughty. I arrived in America's airport with clothings, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS. You will be my boyfriend and do your vagjin hang like sleeve of wizard? I like you. I like sex, VERY much! Please give me us dollars.
15 | 2020-12-13 | Anita Bierry <>
Hi, so i live in France and love watching old men take it up the arse.
16 | 2020-11-05 | Herbert <>
After years of adventuring, Dashwood amassed a large enough fortune to buy his way into Tenpenny Tower for a comfortable retirement. Herbert Dashwood is friendly, down-to-earth and possesses a self-ingratiating sense of humor. If asked, he'll gladly talk about the things he's done, places he's been and creatures he's encountered.
17 | 2020-09-28 | Ben Dover <>
HARDER DADDY, POUR YOUR HOLY WATER ALL OVER ME
I suffer from major depressive disorder please send help

And strippers

And COCAINE

Nya

18 | 2020-07-25 | damien surrey <>
i am a goatse victim, fuckshit. i will actually rip out your spinal cord with 2 (two) forks.
19 | 2020-07-15 | jason humanly <>
i poop myself everyday
20 | 2020-06-14 | Emily Blitzburg <>
Hello! I am a twenty four year old woman living in the rural areas of New York City, Utah. I am looking for a sweet young man to fall in love with me but his name must be John Barosa and have experience dealing with large amounts of currency. I own several large kitchen umbrellas which are useful in a formal meetinf with the local pumpkins. I am looking forward to receiving large amounts of money to pay off my debt from the deals I made with the council of cows.

With all due respect,
Emily Blitzburg

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