IM A PEDO MORTY!!! IM PEDOPHILE RRRISODES A SEASON EVERY YEAR, ME, BEATING MY DEAD WIFE, MORTY. BEATING MY WIFE AND TALKING TO UNDERAGED GIRLS WHILE I'M DRUNK, MORTY. A HUNDRED SEASONS. ooooriiiiiiiiiiiiick"

What is this, a random place to say hello, hello, hello. Nice talking to you.

Hi, I'm down on my luck and have little money aside from my savings and checking account. And my computer is not working well anymore. Anything you can do to help would be amazing, including fixing my computer. Thank you and God bless

My niece set me up this email because she thought it would be good for business to have an "online contact." I told her that this was probably a bad idea but she insisted. Is this how I'm supposed to do this internet thing? Wait, I'm not supposed to write this? Well what am I supposed to write, Mabel? What? I have voice typing on? What's voice typing? Oh, I should just write about myself and the business? Okay. I'm Stan Pines, owner and operator of the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Come on down here if you want to see a world of mystery! Just... If you see anything weird around the town, don't worry about it. It's probably just your imagination. Probably. We have fun here. Here at the Mystery Shack, we have many weird, amazing creatures that will leave you stunned and bewildered! I am setting up this email address to provide a way for you, the customer, to provide valuable feedback that I will ignore. Huh? I'm not supposed to write that?

Is that good Mabel? I still have voice typing on? How do I delete words?

Send me some cool offers!

Currently in dire need of finacial help!! I'll even send nudes! please!!

da fuck u want

rapist, looking for employees to rape

looking for anal sex by email

Just like meeting people